Approved five new members. Three immediately forgot the rules they had to scroll past to click “Join.” One posted a blurry photo of a potato and asked for “serious critique.” Another asked if they could sell Disney fan art. That’s a no. A very fast, very twitchy no.
Also, Thread 684 is back. Again. The topic? “Can AI truly feel?” Spoiler: the only emotion AI experiences is second-hand embarrassment from this thread.
Discovered that two members have been passively feuding for six months via the “like” button. It’s impressive, really. One only likes posts where the other has been corrected. The other likes everything… except theirs. I fear what would happen if they ever meet in real life. Possibly nothing. Possibly fire.
Meanwhile, someone necro-posted in a thread from 2018 to announce, “Never mind, I figured it out.”
Woke up to 87 notifications and one heartfelt message that simply said, “Mods???????” That’s six question marks. This is the forum equivalent of sending a carrier pigeon on fire.
Turns out someone uploaded 14 consecutive posts titled “HELP URGENT.” No topic, no content, just shouting into the void. I replied with “Calmly state your problem.” They said, “Never mind, fixed it.”
Ran out of tea. Nothing else of note.
Except… Thread 684 again. I should just rename it “The Eternal Return.”
Also, someone edited a post from two weeks ago to add, “PS: Mods are biased.” I have never interacted with this person in my life.
Posted the rules reminder again. Included bold text. Italics. A large squirrel meme. No one read it.
One member replied with, “This is unfair, I don’t see why we can’t post political opinions on an art site.”
Another said, “What rules?”
A third asked if the squirrel was AI-generated.
The Newbie Parade arrived. Seven cheerful introductions. One already accidentally deleted someone’s thread. Another is convinced we’re shadowbanning them because no one commented on their post within 14 minutes. I reassured them. They replied, “I don’t trust this site.” It’s been three hours. They’ve posted again.
Meanwhile, someone tagged me in a thread titled “MODS EXPLAIN THIS,” linking to a photo of a tree. I don’t know either.
Quiet. Too quiet.
Checked the logs. A ghost poster is online. They haven’t said anything in years. Why are they watching Thread 684?
I lock the thread.
Ten minutes later… someone creates Thread 685: “Re: Thread 684, Just One More Thing…”
Moderating a forum is a bit like gardening. You prune, you water, you try to coax things into growing nicely. Sometimes you get tulips. Sometimes you get nettles. And sometimes, you get a swarm of wasps arguing about whether Monet was overrated.
Behind every post is a human being (probably). And while moderation may sometimes feel like juggling flaming cats during a hurricane, it’s worth it.
Because when forums work, they create magic. Even if someone will eventually ask again whether Pinterest counts as copyright infringement.
